Before You Enter The Body, Forgive! by Eckhart Tolle
I felt very uncomfortable when I tried to put my attention on the inner body. There was a feeling of agitation and some nausea. So I haven´t been able to experience what you are talking about.
"What you felt was a lingering emotion that you were probably unaware of, until you started putting some attention into the body. Unless you first give it some attention, the emotion will prevent you from gaining access to the inner body, which lies at a deeper level underneath it. Attention does not mean that you start thinking about it. It means to just observe the emotion, to feel it fully, and so to acknowledge and accept it as it is. Some emotions are easily identified: anger, fear, grief, and so on. Others may be much harder to label. They may just be vague feelings of unease, heaviness, or constriction, halfway between an emotion and a physical sensation. In any case, what matters is not whether you can attach a mental label to it but whether you can bring the feeling of it into awareness as much as possible. Attention is the key to transformation - and full attention also implies acceptance. Attention is like a beam of light - the focused power of your consciousness that transmutes everything into itself.
In a fully functional organism, an emotion has a very short life span. It is like a momentary ripple or wave on the surface of your Being. When you are not in your body, however, an emotion can survive inside you for days or weeks, or join with other emotions of a similar frequency that have merged and become the painbody, a parasite that can live inside you for years, feed on your energy, lead to physical illness, and make your life miserable.
So place your attention on feeling the emotion, check whether your mind is holding on to a grievance pattern such as blame, self-pity, or resentment that is feeding the emotion. If that is the case, it means that you haven´t forgiven. Non-forgiveness is often toward another person or yourself, but it may just as well be toward any situation or condition - past, present or future - that your mind refuses to accept. Yes, there can be non-forgiveness even with regard to the future. This is the mind´s refusal to accept uncertainty, to accept that the future is ultimately beyond its control. Forgiveness is to relinquish your grievance and so let go of grief. It happens naturally once you realize that your grievance serves no purpose except to strengthen a false sense of self. Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - to allow life to live through you. The alternatives are pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy, and in many cases physical disease.
The moment you truly forgive, you have reclaimed your power from the mind. Non-forgiveness is the very nature of the mind, just as the mind-made false self, the ego, cannot survive without strife and conflict. The mind cannot forgive. Only you can. You become present, you enter your body, you feel the vibrant peace and stillness that emanate from Being. That is why Jesus said: ¨Before you enter the temple, forgive."
They are here to be felt, to be listen to.
Come to your own wisdom, connect with your own pure clarity.
Amanae™ Emotional Energy release Bodywork in Balham, Clapham and Central London:
The Feel Good Balham Clinic and the Make Me Feel Clinic are easily accessible from Balham Underground/Overground station and Clapham South Underground Station. Buddha on a Bicycle in Covent Garden is just a few minutes walk from Covent Garden Tube Station, Central London.
HERE #amanae #healing #bodywork #childhoodmemories #childhoodtrauma #trauma #innerchildwork #hearthealing #soulhealing #emotionalrelease #selfwork #selfregulation #selfregulationskills #anxiety #sadness #depression #difficultfeelings
Are you a Tetris expert?
Have you learned how to twist yourself to fit?
Are you able to do great gymnastics to fall into what seems the right place, say the right thing, look the right way?
Do you feel you can change yourself great length to be accepted?
.... And yet... you have that really bad feeling in your tummie and not matter how much you try the feeling is always there.
That sort of feeling that is so incredible difficult/painful to feel.
These programmes where formed when we were really young as survival mechanisms and we learned to play them. They formed to protect us, this is important to realized as to know they might be inefficient now and even harmful.
Amanae™ Bodywork helps you to discover and release old negative patterns, to integrate the trauma and physical sensations related to them, to regulate your nervous system and to gain emotional strength and resilience so you feel free to be who you are.
#amanaelondon #amanaebodywork #amanaetherapist #selfregulationskills #PTSD #traumarecovery #somatichealings #processing #selfcare #healthyboundaries #internalboundaries #personalboundaries #clapham #balham #bodyworkclapham #bodymemory #claphambodyworktherapist
Understanding Trauma, Addiction, and the Path to Healing: A Conversation with Gabor Maté
Gabor Maté is a retired physician who, after 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience, worked for over a decade with patients challenged by drug addiction and mental illness.
The best-selling author of four books published in twenty-ﬁve languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, Gabor is an internationally renowned speaker highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, childhood development, and the relationship of stress and illness.
Recently, Gabor shared a conversation with Jenn Brown, from our partners at 1440 Multiversity, about understanding addiction, trauma and understanding the path to healing:
1440: You suggest that underlying all dysfunction, including disease and addiction, is alienation or separation from ourselves caused by trauma. What do you mean by that?
Gabor: Trauma is a word that’s used by a lot of people, and some people have a narrower definition than I do. When you look at the original word trauma, it’s a Greek word for wounding. Wherever we’re wounded, there’s scar tissue that forms, and scar tissue is always harder, less resilient, and less flexible than the tissue that it replaces.
The origin of that hardening is the separation from the self that trauma induces, and then rather than being flexible and responsive, we become more rigid in our responses to life, to ourselves, to relationships, to stimuli, and so on. This is what I think underlies most mental and physical pathology.
1440: So something doesn’t have to be catastrophic—like a car accident or physical abuse—to be considered a trauma?
Gabor: Catastrophic events like that are traumatic in their impact, and if some people want to use the word trauma just for those kinds of events, I’m okay with that. I’ll just have to find a new word for what I’m talking about.
That pain and wounding can happen when a little infant is not picked up when they’re crying. That child experiences a wound, and there will be a corresponding constriction in the psyche and in the self.
There will also be compensatory mechanisms to prevent that pain from happening again. Those mechanisms could be trying to be pleasant and nice to others while ignoring one’s own feelings, or it could be trying to soothe oneself through various behaviors. Kids may rock themselves or suck their thumbs or masturbate or overeat and then, later on, may use drugs. With those compensations, one is either trying to make oneself more acceptable to others by constricting one’s own self-expression or trying to soothe the pain when it becomes too much. Either way, it’s a pathology.
1440: How does it happen that an emotional hurt leads to a physical pathology? What is the mechanism behind this?
Gabor: The mind and the body can’t be separated. It’s not that there’s a psyche that’s separate from our physiology. It’s that both the psyche and the physiology are part and parcel of our organism and are designed for survival.
If I were to scream at you right now, that would profoundly change your physiology in a split second, even though we’re talking on the phone in two different places and I can’t possibly hurt you. Your emotions would affect changes in your autonomic nervous system, your cardiovascular system, your gut, your immune system, in your blood vessels, in your muscles. In other words, everywhere.
That’s the temporary change that would happen in you, and as soon as the threat is removed—either I stop yelling or you hang up on me—your physiology will gradually, depending on your resilience, come back to normal.
But what if children live in a situation where this happens chronically?
This is often the advice of doctors—let them cry themselves to sleep. What’s it like for a little kid to be yelled at? There’s still a debate about spanking, although there shouldn’t be anymore, but what’s it like for a little kid to be hit by an adult five times as big as they are when these adults are designated by nature to be their protectors and safekeepers?
When our psyches are under chronic stress, that puts our physiological system under stress as well. That’s the first point. The second point is that when we don’t get the acceptance that is our natural birthright, and our parents for whatever reason of their own are not able to grant us that despite their best wishes perhaps, then we adjust to their expectations because we have to maintain that relationship.
One way to maintain that relationship is to be compliant. That calls for a repression of one’s own feelings because one doesn’t feel nice all the time. And so the only way you can survive is to not even be aware of when you’re angry, because otherwise you might express it.
So a lot of people who repress their healthy anger end up with autoimmune diseases which, by the way, might explain the fact that 80% of people with an autoimmune disease are women.
Early stress and early trauma also triggers inflammation in the body. It triggers inflammatory processes that are measurable in adulthood. Inflammation predisposes people to malignancy and autoimmune disease. So there are multiple mechanisms. A lot of the details need to be worked out, but conceptually, the connection has been very elegantly demonstrated.
1440: Given all this, how do you look at the healing process?
Gabor: There are multiple ways in, but it begins with the recognition that the healing process is necessary and possible. What all good healing processes have in common is reconnecting you with yourself, both on the emotional and the physiological levels. Whether you look at Somatic Experiencing, expressive dance, EMDR, Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems, or my particular work, Compassionate Inquiry, it’s all about reconnecting people with their authentic feelings and emotions.
Just a few weeks ago, I found myself in the shoals of some psychological travail, so I called up a breath therapist and I’ve started a daily breath practice. It can even be something on that simple level.
1440: Who is the self that we are finding in these healing processes? What is our authentic self?
Gabor: In general, if the pregnancy goes well, we’re born unburdened. We don’t have any conscious awareness of this, but that’s who we are. Unburdened. Then the burdens start piling on. People talk about being reborn, but what does that mean? It means you’re unburdened again; you’re yourself again, without all this stuff that you accumulated that has crusted over your true self.
1440: One of these crusts that you do a lot of work with is addiction. How do you define addiction?
Gabor: Addiction is a complex psychophysiological process. It’s manifested in any behavior that a person finds temporary pleasure or relief in, and therefore craves, but that they can’t give up despite the negative consequences to themselves or those around them.
It could be any behavior, from drugs and substances of all kinds to sex, gambling, shopping, the internet, video games, eating, pornography, work, extreme sports—anything, even meditation and spiritual work.
1440: It seems as if an understanding of how trauma may have caused our addictions doesn’t necessarily lead to healing. Is that true?
Gabor: That’s right. Like I mentioned, just two weeks ago I found myself up against it again, but I can tell you there’s much more in my kit bag right now than there ever was, and when these states arise, I’m able to recognize them as memory states rather than reflecting the present.
People often will say to me, “Thank you, your book has changed my life.” And my response is, “That’s great, maybe I should read it myself.” For all that I’m able to articulate these things, it doesn’t mean that I’ve worked them through to the end. Working them through is different than an intellectual understanding.
1440: So what does it mean to you to heal?
Gabor: Healing comes from an Anglo-Saxon word for wholeness.
It’s becoming whole again, where you’re not split into all these defensive parts of you that are running your life. It means you’re not running around trying to soothe the pain all the time by means of drugs or sex or gambling or whatever; you’re not running away from yourself all the time by being always on the internet; you’re not trying to please people so they’ll like you. Instead, you consider what you want, what you prefer, what you feel—not in a selfish way of ignoring others, but also not in a way that ignores you either.
(Interview taken from1440 Multiversity)
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The monkey mind is not the source of our anxiety.
"The primary cause of our unhappiness is not our thoughts. The monkey mind is not the source of our anxiety. It’s a symptom of it. Forget the monkey mind. The mind is not the enemy—unhealed pain is. Men have been blaming the mind for their neuroses for centuries, while deftly avoiding that which sources its maladies—somatic constrictions, and unprocessed emotions stored in the body itself. It’s like losing your keys somewhere in the house, and looking for them in the car. Useless, useless, useless. Until they stop blaming the mind—and recognize that its neuroses stem from the unresolved emotional body—there will be no liberation. Shifting out of unhappiness is not a cerebral process—that’s just another ineffective band-aid. It is a visceral full-body experience. It’s the “monkey heart” that’s the issue: the state of inner turbulence and agitation that emanates from an unclear heart. The more repressed your emotional body, the more repetitive your thoughts. Flooded with unhealed emotions and unexpressed truths, the monkey heart jumps from tree-top to tree-top, emoting without grounding, dancing in its confusion. Often misinterpreted as a monkey mind, the monkey heart is reflected in repetitive thinking, perpetual anxiety, and negative imaginings. All of which are emanating from the emotional body.
Bottom line is that you cannot heal and resolve your emotional material with your mind. Knowing our issues is not the same as healing our issues. Your emotional material does not evaporate because you watch it. I have known many who could watch and name their patterns and issues—as if they were scientists, researching their own consciousness—but nothing fundamentally changed, because they refused to come back down into their bodies and move their feelings through to transformation. It’s safe up there, above the fray, witnessing the heartache without actually engaging it. Yes, you may be able to get so skilled at a witnessing consciousness that you can overpower your triggers. But that’s not presence. Real presence comes through the open heart. The key to the transformation of challenging patterns and wounds is to heal them from the inside out. Not to analyze them, not to watch them like an astronomer staring at a faraway planet through a telescope, but to jump right into the heart of them, encouraging their expression and release, stitching them into new possibilities with the thread of love. You want to live a holy life? Heal your heart. That’s the best meditation of all."
(~an excerpt from 'Grounded Spirituality', by JeffBrown)